Feed Your Pets, Your Plants, Your Spirit

The animals are innocents. The plants, if you have taken them from the earth and put them in your house, then feed them and care for them too. Now your spirit. Big taking. It is very hard to be true to your spirit when everything around you effects you, no matter how many deflectors or filters you have. Then there are your obligations, your responsibilities. You work to live and live to work as 'they' say. You have chores to do and miracles to behold simultaneously. Not an easy thing. It is very much a matter of choice...and surprisingly enough, the chores can be done and the miracles can be beheld at the same time. But 'miracles' are missed on a daily basis by many. What exactly is a miracle anyway? To me it is something that is just spectacular, beautiful, or amazing. It is a shooting star, a perfect rainbow. It is when the thing you NEED, shows up in a form you don't recognize. It is when all of Lance Armstrong's cancer disappears through will or some unknown reason no one will ever know. It is a perfect song, a blue bird, a honeybee. It is the love you share with yourself when you allow yourself the time and then experience the peace that follows. It is simply sitting outside and in utter amazement experience the perfection of the world we know in its design. But we, as human beings, with all of our emotional vastness and complexities and traumas, forget to...just BE. 

The Past Always Effects the Present - But the Future.....? NO.

I know one is suppose to believe that living in the present is where one should always be. Dale Carnegie says to live in 'day tight compartments', like comparments in the hull of the Titanic. Shut down the front and rear doors to keep the water from coming into the middle- analogous to 'the now'....i.e. close the past and the future doors.
Still I find it hard to not continue learning from the past and therefore I have to go there. I have to feel it to put my future in perspective. I have no control over the future, or any knowledge of it. I wouldn't want to know. There are many things in my past I would like to remember. But what felt like traumatic times to me, kept my memory intake off, and my super-ego and id spiraling. I wish I could tap into my past family life through something like 'primal scream' therapy. But I know I cannot be hypnotized; I tried it to quit smoking (which I did in July of 2002 without even being aware of it...it just slowly happened and was gone). Maybe I need a psychic- someone who can really do palm reading and telepathic thinking- kind of like a 'Human Whisperer'. Do they have those? I guess the closest thing to it would be Freudian therapy, and while I think Freud was right-on in all his studies, I also believe cognitive behavioral therapy is more modern and less expensive in all ways. And now there are life coaches. Much merit in them and quite a variety of prices and styles. I have many wonderful past family and friend memories, but I have many blanks from age 2-16 and through going-away-to-college. Sad. I need them to heal. I need the closure.

Life's Tribulations

They usually come from those around us. They die, they hurt you, they challenge you, they undermine you. Worry takes the place of gratitude if we let it. It is much harder to be grateful in these times. Sandwich generation/ baby boomer/ approaching the sunset of our own human lives/ and unnecessary conflicts. Still, it is ideal to focus on oneself. But threatening that means often becoming reclusive and setting up barriers of protection, that one creates one's own world. I am on the bridge on this one. I look back at what I used to stand for and believe in, and look at now at how select things and people are unhealthy for me, and I look at the other side- what is to be with much work, focus, and belief in who I am and the worthiness I deserve. I am worthy of my own respect, my own peace, my own space in time that is filled with what I love that fills my spirit, soul, and heart. All God willing- and if not- because I can.

Bucket List to Lighten the Thoughts & Moving to the Future

I want to ride a camel and ride an elephant, to adopt a palomino and a fresian horse, to see a whale, to skydive, to see Venice, Rome, Tuscany, Australia, Africa, Alaska & America by motorhome, to publish a book, to drive Route 66 in my 66 Corvair convertible, to see the seven wonders of the world, to go into King Tut's tomb, to go on an Australian walk-about with a group of elders, to see Heaven.....the list goes on. At least today I sorted through some family photos and organized my beading materials, books, schoolwork, and my mind. I would just like to be lying on my back, on the sand in New Mexico right now, looking at the beautiful black sky filled with the clearest and most endless display of stars I have ever seen.

Help - I Never Had A Sense of Direction

I actually feel like I'm in a maze and I can't find my way out.

Family- A Word That Takes On New Meaning

The anguish that I am going through AFTER my parents death regarding sibling events and correspondences is tearing a hole in my heart and soul. I need to meditate with positive thoughts to deflect all that is happening. Sometimes I think I would rather be a ............be careful what I wish for. Serenity please come my way.

When Your Insight Becomes Metaphysical and Your Book Doesn't Get Published

Certainly morbidity and mortality are more on the minds of everyone in our world today. Historically speaking, we as 'a world' have endured much worse over the millenniums and eras, and as countries, we have experienced much more devastating events and scourges. But it is 'our time' in which to deal with a different lot of unsettling events, illnesses, and catastrophes, and with such problems as the rise in the abuse of drugs and a decrease in the number of doctors and nurses or the overly technologically-dependent countries. Battles are raging everywhere. Religion is one central, common, predominant vein of all the fighting, followed by politics, greed, dominance, and pure insanity. It is amazing how so many millions of cultures have survived on the same global planet. It is an enormous complexity of beliefs, values, ethics, morals, covert and overt players, activists, pacifists, destroyers and growers, and believers and nonbelievers. When one thinks of planet Earth comprised of nations, it is analogous to an extended family. It was either designed by God, occurred via Darwinism, or is Mother Nature or an Alien Nation's creation, in anyway having everything it needs to survive left natural.. There is an authority figure and there are children.One sets the rules and actions cause reactions and there will always be a consequence for each action. The United States has often thought of itself as the global authority figure. In many ways, it has felt that it truly is a nation under God and formed by our forefathers, some of greatest minds. Still, Buddha and Indian elders/spirits also have astounding stories of great beginnings. Why is there evil in the hearts of many? Why is there famine and disease? One of the simplest and longest living cultures on the earth (they live to an old age) is the Australian Aborigines. It is on my bucket list to do a walk-about with some elders one day. It is also on my bucket list to ride an elephant and a camel. I wrote a book once: Willey the Wombat's Walk-A-Bout. It never got published. I had an entire series planned. I must have sent that book to 23 publishers with no luck. I suppose these days you have to be a star to have your children's' book published. It was quite good.

Fragmentation

Odd that I would have such a blog highlighting positives when I fight so with the negatives in my life right now. It is a new venture, a new era in my life. I have lost both my parents within 2 years' time. I feel fragmented. I don't know who I am; I know this is the time to declare myself. As Kahlil Gibran says, " Your children come through you not from you". A philosophically true statement. And if that is the case, I must make my own way. I have not to be like my parents or live my parents' dreams. I have to define who I am alone made from their protoplasm and DNA but able to plot my own course. Each day is a struggle.  This is my journey; I only take it once. I am appreciative of all I have experienced. It is all for savoring and taking in. My mortality is so real now. I have limited time I know now. I feel I must plan strategically, seriously, for life is so precious. Like Dale Carnegie says, all actions have consequences...I can only pray to beat the odds...............