Nursing

I have come to realize that I am smack dab in the middle of a conundrum of my own making: I love nursing but I am burned out caring for others. It has been nearly 32 years. Add the nursing I did as a child changing my mother's back dressing for years, and it is much more. (She had tuberculosis, lost her right lung and six ribs so they left a hole in her back for purulent drainage). Perhaps it has come to this since my mom died. Or maybe it was taking care of in-laws and my parents that fed into its fruition. My own parents never cared for their parents. My mom moved to the opposite coast as her mom and dad. My dad had his 3 siblings in New York to care for both his parents until their deaths. Caring for ailing parents is right up there on the 1-10 stressor scale. That is the hardest thing I've ever done. Funny how I want to still go to school to become a nurse practitioner. Perhaps that is so I can get out of the politics of it all. I wish nurses were treated better as employees. There are many books out there about health care worker burn-out. I know why. So, what is the positive in this? I suppose it is 'nature's' way of steering me in another direction. Is this the midlife crisis of my career? Perhaps it is merely me standing at a crossroad, waiting for a sign, for a different turn, for something better. I'll keep you posted.