Since I have written...This will be the first holiday season without both my parents. My mom died in 2008 (seems like three months ago) and my dad just passed in April this year. It leaves one feeling raw and open emotionally. I have been missing my dad a lot lately. He became a sweet older man with time. He never complained once after my mom died. The odd thing my siblings have a totally different outlook on their deaths, one of lack of sentiment. Their house, my childhood home, just sold. Another milestone of pain and change. To think of someone else living in there leaves me with anger and sadness both. Time goes on as do feelings.
I left the PhD program with a 98 average. It was too much for me. I am grieving that as well. It will take time. I was not a failure; I suppose a great success being able to call it a day knowing it may have been much work for nothing but an acronym after my name. I had to ask myself....why do they make the work so overwhelming? Is there a reason? Could it not be as intense? Times have changed in every case scenario I stand. And I really don't feel like it is 'becoming my parents' and hearing these same things. I think our times are VERY pressured, too much. SO I move forward again, one step, one day, at a time. No backwards allowed. Technology and everyone around me is moving fast. My drive to work via 4 major highways tells me enough.
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